The Ranch Project

Our tomatoes are kickin'...

2009-09-02T08:18:00.001-05:00

Check out our unruly tomato garden!

Hmmm...what does this remind me of?

Okay not really. They're really good tomatoes and we have so many we've been able to share with friends. Lots of 'em....but not all of them as clearly some are a bit too "racy" to eat.

There's nothing nicer than going out to pluck a fresh tomato from the vine, then coming back in and putting it on a sandwich.

Check out Mr. P's open-face BLT:

Mmmmmm...and yes we're still using the box of 100 pre-cooked bacon strips my sister sent me as a gift. (thanks Michelle and Eric!)

Anyone have a good tomato-based recipe?

Dining Out in Omaha...

2009-09-01T08:37:00.002-05:00

If you don't know that Nebraska is highly regarded for its beef than perhaps you should consider NOT auditioning for Jeopardy.

FYI: Nebraska is known to have great beef. And so when my sister was visiting we went on the hunt for the best steak in town. And ladies and gentlemen, I'm happy to say we have found a contender.

Behold The Drover:

Why is it great? Well first of all it's dark and looks like it was decorated by a Clint Eastwood fan circa 1975.

Second, the restaurant features a one-page menu (complete with cowboy on the front):

Your options are steak, steak, grilled chicken, and steak. I recommend the steak. Mr. P and my sis opted for the Whiskey Filet with loaded baked potatoes. I like non-alcholic beef so I opted for the 8oz. filet with salad bar accompaniment. (and by salad I mean iceburg lettuce, ranch dressing and bacon bits...still quite refreshing, actually) The steaks were cooked perfectly, the waiters are friendly and helpful, and the bread, french fries and potato/leek soup were great.

Maybe I liked it so much because as a child my family used to frequent a place called The Steak Pit. I believe "The Pit" also featured wagon wheels and dingy yellow lighting and a salad bar well stocked with iceburg lettuce. So perhaps my love for The Drover was simply caused by fond memories triggered by wall-mounted steer horns:

The world may never know.

Before & After: Some front yard landscaping...

2009-08-31T07:25:00.001-05:00

Behold, the ugliest non-weed I've ever seen:

It's sort of like the plant-version of this guy:

No no, don't get me wrong. I love Andre Agassi...and I love plants. But that hair? Just unecessary. Just like that mop of a shrub. See my point?

This weekend we replaced 1990s Agassi shrub with a beautiful Blue Spruce:

Isn't he much cuter? Like the plant version of this:

Aaaah, much better.

Review of the Controversial KFC Meat-for-Bun "Double Down" Chicken Sandwich

2009-08-27T21:21:00.004-05:00

Mr. P here, taking over the blog to write a review of the controversial new sandwich that's taking Omaha by storm.

Here's the story. This morning's Omaha World Herald contained a front page article titled "A Finger-Lickin' Controversy", about a new sandwich concept from KFC. From the article:

It seems like a college freshman's dream — a sandwich made of two original
recipe Kentucky Fried Chicken breast filets, two slices of cheese, two
pieces of bacon and something called “Colonel's Sauce.” And no bun.

That's right. On the new "Double Down" sandwich, the fried chicken breasts are the bun, and the bacon and cheese go in between.

But here's the kicker - it's only being tested in two markets in the whole country. Providence, RI and Omaha, NE. Because when you think meat innovation, think Omaha.

Naturally I decided to find a KFC here and be a part of the experiment.

So how was it? It was greasy and messy, and it was delicious. It didn't look much like the pictures, but when has fast food ever looked like it does in the commercials? It was super filling, and they are on to something with that "Colonel's Sauce".

Not something you want to eat on a regular basis, unless you own a defibrilator, but pretty tasty and worth trying for the novelty value. And I have done my part, as a part of the test market, to make sure it comes to a KFC near you soon. You're welcome.

Before & After: Garage Closets...

2009-08-27T08:33:00.001-05:00

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm just slightly obsessive compulsive. SLIGHTLY. Fortunately my OCD has rubbed off a bit on Mr. P who is the self-proclaimed Master of the Garage. So today's mission: garage organization!

We're fortunate to have two massive cedar closets in the garage. I think you're supposed to put your mink coats in there but since I have no mink coats we use it for other things. Mr. P (a.k.a. Huggy Bear) chooses to keep his minks elsewhere:

Anyhoodles, some $30 plastic shelves from Menards (the best home improvement store ever...you can get a socket wrench and Cookie Crisp and Sham-Wow all at the same place) and we've transformed the closets from this:

To this:

Hey! That's where the Christmas tree stand went! I was looking for that!

Before & After: The Kitchen

2009-08-26T08:33:00.000-05:00

We'd already completed round one of the kitchen remodel, peeling off wallpaper and repainting. But it wasn't quite right. The ugly faux-wood laminate floors were making me crazy and the color I'd chosen for the kitchen walls - though pretty - was a bit bland for the space. And I am, afterall, one spicey Latina...bland just won't cut it.

This is what it looked like when we FIRST moved in:

HOT. MESS.

This is what it looked like a month later:

Cute, cute...but not quite right.

And this is what it looks like now:

Ay chihuahua! That's one eh-spicey kitchen, no?

I'll tell you all about the new floors in the next post. In the meantime, gaze upon my neon blue walls (the color is called Mermaid Treasure...) and love them.

BREAKING NEWS: Anatomically correct tomato...

2009-08-25T14:49:00.003-05:00

I am too much of a lady to tell you what this tomato looks like to me. But suffice it to say Mr. P and I could NOT STOP laughing after we picked this bad boy from our vines.

Here it is in all it's glory - talk amongst yourselves. First, the front:

Now the back:

And now the side view:

Ahem...you can also understand why we will NOT be eating this one. Thanks.

Wanna feel REALLY bad about your landscaping?

2009-08-25T08:16:00.002-05:00

Visit the Lauritzen Botanical Gardens and be reminded that your backyard (and maybe your front yard) will never be NEARLY as nice!

Okay I kid, I kid! It's an amazing and breath-taking place that makes you wish you were a wee bit better with the ol' potting soil, if you know what I mean. (Don't feel bad if you don't...most of the time I don't even really know what I mean.)

Here's my little sister at the start of the gardens - isn't she cute? (TAKE NOTE ALL YOU ELIGIBLE BACHELORS IN THE SOUTH FLORIDA AREA):

We wandered through the Japanese garden (which is still being developed and will be even more fabulous very soon):

We sniffed around the herb garden (quite literally in Mr. P's case):

We encountered wildlife:

And we took in the children's garden which has plants you can touch and even taste, and features a super fun corn maze (or maize maze...HA! Get it?):

This month the gardens feature an exhibit of Wonders of the World made entirely of gourds, berries, sticks, etc. The sculptures have been placed all around the Train Garden - is that cool or what? Behold the Hagia Sofia:

We left with a ton of inspiration and maybe a tiny case of hay fever. But if you're ever in town make sure to add the Lauritzen Botanical Gardens to your to-do list!

Before & After: The Front Door

2009-08-24T08:01:00.001-05:00

I may have mentioned on this blog that I have a bit of a brown thumb. Things die around me. I mean, not PEOPLE or anything that dramatic. But plants, flowers and the occassional vegetable. (although my tomatoes continue to flourish in spite of me)

Exhibit A - the potted flowers Mr. P's mom helped me pick out to brighten the front door:

Pretty right? Well not after I got done with them:

Nice work, Mrs. P. Anywho, my little sister was in town this weekend and she kicked my butt into high gear and encouraged me to try again. (and by "encourage" I mean laughed at my inability to grow things and said my doorstep looked like something you'd seen in a crack den...ah, sisterly love) And try again we did!

A new light and some house numbers and it looks downright cheerful! No crack sold here, no siree Bob!

Now let's see how long I keep these bad boys alive. Wish me luck!

Vacation, all I ever wanted...

2009-08-23T13:45:00.003-05:00

Sorry we've been MIA folks! Mr. P, Design Assistant Magnus and I were on a little vacation! It was Magnus' first and he had a blast:

He traveled in style:

He met new friends (cousins Gus and Lily...cousin Lily is a bit larger and his nerves got the best of him. Apologies to Aunt Kira and her lovely rug.):

He celebrated his fancy new surfboard dog collar by eating ice cream. (not too much...D.A. Magnus watches his figure, especially during swimsuit season):

He played on the beach:

He went for a swim with Mr. P. (not his favorite...he's really more of a pool/swim-up bar type of guy):

Can't see him? Here's a close-up...note the look of sheer terror in his eyes:

He dried off with a nice wet roll in the sand:

In fact, Design Assistant Magnus had such a great time that when it was time to go he hid in hopes it would make us delay our departure. Hmm...I wonder where Magnus is? Certainly not under the couch:

All in all the three of us had a lovely vacation! Big thanks Mr. P's parents for being fantastic hosts.

Oh and sorry about YOUR rug, too.

Dining Out in Omaha...

2009-08-08T08:50:00.000-05:00

You know how I love to document my food but I was so entranced by the delicious pasta dish I ordered (oh, and the sparkling conversation, of course) that I neglected to take pictures of my dinner. Suffice it to say that it involved pasta and sausage. Of course...I try to find ways to incorporate sausage or bacon into at least one meal a day. When in Rome!

Anywho, no pictures. That's how good Lo Sole Mio is. Aside from the fact that it was voted "Best Italian Restaurant" in the 2008 Best of Omaha poll, the place has fantastic, giant servings of your favorite Italian food, good bread and, I'm guessing here, yummy desserts. (we were too stuffed to even consider the tiramisu) I did manage to snap a picture of one of my favorite parts of dinner:

That's right. The jug of wine. For $20 six of us had more than enough wine to go with our dinner. Is it the best wine I've ever had? No. Is it the worst? No. (that honor goes to Manischewitz. Sorry Jewish friends...I've gotta keep it real.)

Behind the scenes with Design Assistant Magnus...

2009-08-07T08:35:00.001-05:00

Design Assistant Magnus is the hardest working pup in show business. His contributions to the home renovation projects have been second to none. And so it's good to know that he's making time to pamper himself and take breaks from all the hard labor.

For example, Magnus is a bit of a foodie and likes to treat himself with the occasional (he's very concerned about his figure) goodie from Three Dog Bakery:

But of course, being the health nut that he is, Magnus loves to burn some calories with a swim in Zorinsky Lake. And yes, he does skinny dip...he's so "Euro":

And when a quick trip to the lake isn't enough of a break for him, he jets cross-country to visit his grandparents in Virginia. He's got a new luxury carrier that he can't wait to take for a test drive:

His one secret? He's a bit of a nervous flyer...but not to worry, he's prepared:

Hey Magnus, lay off the hard stuff, buddy!

Omaha celebrity sighting...

2009-08-06T08:32:00.003-05:00

Lest you think that Omaha is too small town to attract big celebs, check out this documented celebrity sighting in the Old Market:

That's right. Mr. P and pal Joe ran into the Robertson Dairy cow!

Jealous? I am....of that dress. Fab-u-lous!

The start of new landscaping...

2009-08-06T07:52:00.002-05:00

Slowly but surely Mr. P and I have been trying to make some sense of our landscaping. Sure our home's previous owner left all sorts of pretty flowers but there's really no rhyme or reason to their arrangment. No plan or pattern.

It's sort of like seeing a Hollywood starlet and thinking, "Oh, she's so pretty...why the heck is she dressed like a cracked-out socialite-turned-bag lady?" (ahem...you know who you are....)

What I mean is that it's sloppy. Pretty and sloppy all at the same time. Does that make sense or am I just undercaffeinated? Probably. What I'm saying is that I appreciate the organic nature of our garden, but the anal retentive obsessive compulsive in me NEEDS ORDER.

So we've started digging. And as you know, we removed three large bushes from one side of the house. (see them behind the tree)

This weekend we decided to remove their bigger and bushier cousins on the other side:

Here's the before:

And here's the after:

Okay so it's kind of a hot mess right now. But never fear! Feeling inspired to replace the loofah poof bushes with something a little more sleek we hit Mulhall's, our local nursery to check out their selection. (Mr. P's awesome aunts sent us a gift certificate...we can't wait to use it but we've been slow to do so...primarily because we don't know what we're doing) Landscaping is really overwhelming! There are so many options and if you pick the wrong one you're left with a pile of leafless sticks. Been there, done that.

Anywho, we went to Mulhall's looking for inspiration -and we came prepared:

So many choices!

But I think we've decided on a Royal Raindrops Crabapple tree and some other shrubs. Yes yes...it's all very exciting.

"After" pictures to come in a few weeks. In the meantime, sayonara ugly bushes!

Before & After: The Dining Room...

2009-07-29T07:46:00.000-05:00

OMG guys! We scored big time! Mr. P and I had been on the hunt for dining chairs. For weeks we searched high and low but just couldn't find something we could both agree on. Mr. P wanted comfortable leather. I wanted something modern and clean. Design Assistant Magnus wanted something made out of rawhide and pigs' ears. (he's so "out of the box," you know?)

The few chairs we did like were way out of our price range. (oh how I long to be in a position to spend $600 on EACH chair...but we needed six of them...and we also need to pay our mortgage and eat on occassion - this body doesn't just happen on its' own, you know? it requires a lot of attention...and bacon.)

I had just about given up when Mr. P, ever the crafty bargain hunter, emailed me a link to a Craigslist posting. Six brand new Pottery Barn chairs for the low low price of $350. For all six! I cannot make this stuff up! We drove to the sellers' home, hopes high but still feeling the sting of a recent Craigslist buy gone wrong. (in the immortal words of George W. Bush, "fool me once...shame...on you. [long awkward pause] If you fool me you can't get fooled again.")

But look! They're fantastic! And they work perfectly in our room! First let's remember what this room used to look like:

Sweet lord...I'm having chest pain just remembering it. Deep breaths...here's what it looks like now:

Dinner is served!

Dining Out in Omaha...

2009-07-28T13:37:00.001-05:00

Why is it that every time we have guests in town Mr. P and I become drawn like magnets to any foods that are 90% Crisco? This weekend Iowa neighbors Joe and Mary came for a quick visit and we decided to hit The Twisted Fork for one of our favorite treats.

I give you Exhibit A - fried pickles:

With a side of ranch, of course. The deep fried batter wasn't enough - it MUST be dipped in a condiment made entirely of mayonaise and LDL (bad cholesterol for those of us who weren't pre-med majors for all of three months).

But wait! What's this? A new item on the menu? Well it's only right that we give it a whirl. And that's how we got to exhibit B - country-fried bacon:

Yes you read correctly - FRIED BACON. Wrong. Wrong on SO many levels. And yet so so right.

And those were just the appetizers. Dinner for me consisted of a turkey, cheddar and tomato sandwich. Doesn't sound so bad, right? Well it is when you add ranch dressing, bacon, Texas toast and a side of french fries. Gross.

You'll be happy to know that we skipped dessert. At the restaurant. We walked half a block to the Old Market Candy Shop for some mud balls:

A mud ball is like a chocolate Oreo cheesecake ball dipped in more chocolate. Mortal sin in bite-sized chunks.

I'm fairly certain we burned some of the calories during a heated Wii Karaoke session. But then we loaded up again the next morning with a trip back to Dixie Quicks where I ordered French toast the size of my sofa:

Today I start my new Ex-Lax and cucumber diet. I'll let you know how it goes...right after I get one last Dairy Queen Tagalong Blizzard.

Fairacres vandal strikes again!

2009-07-28T08:40:00.000-05:00

Remember this?

Still cracks me up! Well yesterday while on our evening walk with Design Assistant Magnus we spotted this one:

Magnus was thrilled. He's a HUGE Vanilla Ice fan. I think it's their shared pain over bad haircuts:

From the desk of Design Assistant Magnus...

2009-07-27T15:21:00.002-05:00

I have been lied to.

"You'll feel so much better," she said. "Like a new pup," she said.

I do NOT feel better. I feel violated, betrayed, and a little dirty.

At first I was excited by this new outting.

"Hey! I smell other dogs! It's just like the dog park - only with tiled floor instead of grass...and this funny counter thing...and...well, no dogs. Wait...who is this? Yikes, that's cold. Wait, where are they taking me now? And what the heck is THAT thing on the counter? What's a heartworm???"

Readers, they took me to a bad, bad place. They scrubbed out my ears with a cold goo. Then they pinched my tush with something called "steroids" when I wasn't looking. And then - THEN! - it's almost too awful to say. I shudder at the mere memory:

They went...where the sun don't shine. They called it "cleaning out glands." I call it assault. You be the judge.

I'm home now. And I'm trying to sleep off the trauma.

But just you wait. Once they're asleep I'll show them. I'm going to chew up all their shoes, turn over the trash cans, pee on the couch and blame it on the 'roid rage. That'll show 'em.

- D.A. Magnus

Garden update...

2009-07-27T09:34:00.001-05:00

It's pink!!! We almost have a ripe tomato! Look!

And check out these peppers - we've already used the anaheim peppers (the darker green ones) in some dishes and boy are they spicy!

This gardening thing is going really well! Maybe next year we'll diversify our crop - less tomatoes, more...I don't know...other stuff that grows in a garden.

(Forgive me for being clueless but you're talking to the woman who didn't know that the blinking lights in her backyard were fireflies. Sue me.)

Dining out in Omaha...

2009-07-25T13:00:00.003-05:00

Signs you've found a good Thai restaurant:

1. The name includes the words "Thai" or "Bangkok." Here in town we have Thai Pepper, Thai Spice, etc. And then there's one called Noodles & Company. If you were craving Thai food and didn't know any better would YOU choose Noodles & Company over Thai Spice? I think I've made my point.

2. They ask you how spicy you want your food, the insinuation being "Hey white lady, no way you can handle this dish as it's meant to be prepared. Save yourself." And I appreciate that - because I like spicy, but not Thai spicy.

3. You can hear diners around you combating runny noses. No it's not a bizarre form of Asian Bird Flu...it's the spices. Gets me every time.

4. It looks like this from the outside:

Bangkok & Cuisine (yes there is an "&" in there...no I don't get it either) on 19th & Farnam is fantastic. The food was fresh and delicious, and the service, while a bit slow, was friendly and helpful. My one complaint - no beer. I love a cold Singha when I'm launching an assault on my taste buds with some spicy Pad Prik Khing. But Sprite would have to do.

Still, so worth a visit if you're ever in town!

Before & After: The Hallway

2009-07-24T09:53:00.002-05:00

We are equal opportunity house lovers - each tiny crevice in our home gets the royal treatment. Well except for the master bathroom which currently looks like the loo in some sort of horrible P.O.W. camp. We'll get to it one day but until then I'll just have to dream of my Kohler BubbleMassage tub. But as Mr. P is constantly reminding me, we must first finish tackling other less glamorous projects.

Did I mention that the Kohler BubbleMassage tub has 120 airjets and a variable speed-blower? I don't even know what a variable speed-blower is but I know that I want it.

FOCUS, MRS. P. Where were we?

Right. Less glamour. Hallways.

One main hallway connects all three bedrooms and the guest bathroom to the living room. And when we moved in, the master bathroom could be accessed through the bedroom and through the hallway. The previous owner had used that bath as another guest bathroom. As for Mr. P and I? Well we decided that we didn't want to share that bathroom. It's not that we're selfish - no. It's just that we have a lot of crap, have complex and off-putting grooming rituals, and, well shed a lot. There, I said it. I shed a lot. I hope you're happy now.

Long story short, I don't want to have to clean up every time someone sets foot in my house. And I don't like the idea of the A/C repairman having access to my make-up or seeing my collection of mini-shampoo bottles stolen from hotels. (I know, I know - don't do the crime if you can't do the time.) It's just creepy, okay?

Anywho all of that is a long way of saying that we decided to seal the door. And by "we" I mean Mr. P with a lot of moral support from me. Here's the before:

It's like the pathway to Blah-ville, no? Well here's the after:

The paintings are from a fabulous Brooklyn-based artist named Steve Keene who was introduced to us by our fabulous friends in LA. (shout-out to Sharon and Jeff!) Steve's philosophy is that art should be like CDs - anyone should be able to afford it and you should be able to change it out as often as you want to. When you visit his web site (http://www.stevekeene.com/) you can choose between two sizes and then Steve will mail you whatever he happens to be working on that day. That's it. You don't get to pick. You don't get to dictate subjects or colors or materials...it's basically a control freak's worst nightmare.

But grouped together like this:

It adds the perfect pop of color to an otherwise dreary hallway!

I would venture a guess that it'd also "go" well with a Kohler BubbleMassage Tub. Because really everything looks good surrounded by 120 airjets. EVERYTHING. Sigh...if only Kohler believed BubbleMassage tubs should be like CDs. Life is so cruel.

New home owners...

2009-07-23T14:56:00.002-05:00

Today I called our home warranty folks about our central air conditioning system which was not cooling. One could imagine how that would be problematic in the dead of summer. (read: just plain nasty)

For the low, low price of $80 these folks come out to investigate the problem. I walked Jeremy, the very nice technician down into the basement. As he set down his tools I said I'd be right back and walked back up the stairs. When I reached the top of the stairs I heard the A/C unit turn on so I ran back down to give Jeremy this update.

Turns out there was a panel on the furnace that was open a smidge. Jeremy simply shut it and the A/C came back on.

$80 to shut a door. How can I get that gig?

A unique drive-thru experience...

2009-07-23T10:31:00.002-05:00

Things I love about Omaha - Number 345: Really tasty drive-thru chicken parm with a side of pizza at Fazoli's.

No, for real. A SIDE of pizza - as in, it's part of a combo meal. Of course one could argue that pizza is a main course but to those people I say, "PIZZA WILL NOT STAND FOR BEING PIGEONHOLED LIKE THAT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH."

Okay that was actually Mr. P's order - I opted for the slightly more sensible spaghetti with tomato and meat sauce and a side salad. But no matter. The point is that you CAN get drive-thru chicken parm if you want it. And want it I do.

My thighs on the other hand...well, not so much.

Oh, did I mention that you can also drive-thru for Dairy Queen Tagalongs Blizzards? For those of you communists who don't know, Tagalongs are THE BEST Girl Scout Cookies ever. And the geniuses at Dairy Queen mash them up and put them in ice cream. And then you eat it. And then you regret it. And then you get over it and decide that life is too short and you get another one the next day. And then you realize you have a problem - too many Blizzards, not enough Lycra.

Perhaps we'll have to limit our chicken parm/Blizzards outtings. This could get ugly.

Design Assistant Magnus gets a new bed...

2009-07-22T12:21:00.002-05:00

I'm afraid that given all the work underway at the Ranch we've been neglecting the needs of our favorite design assistant, Magnus. And although he's really not much of a complainer, one thing was clear - he did not care for his dog bed. And when Magnus is unhappy...boy, what a whiner!

So we hit PetSmart to find the perfect bed. A bed that, selfishly, had to match the living room decor while still providing the perfect place for a mid-afternoon snooze. Low walls for chin-resting? Check. A furry lining for maximum comfort? Check. A color that goes nicely with white fur? Check. (that's the beauty of white dogs...they match everything!)

By jove I think we've found it!

But no bed would be complete without a personally monogrammed pillow, made of the same fabric as our headboard and bed skirt, and also courtesy of my mom.

Aaaaah...life is good!

Before & After: The Fireplace

2009-07-17T13:40:00.000-05:00

Sometimes less is best.

Sometimes. Not always. Definitely not when it comes to chocolate, sequins, James Bond movie marathons or DSW. I could go on but you get the point.

Less IS best when it comes to mismatched fireplace design.

Behold our fireplace. A too-small colonial-style mantle with a modern stone face, a cheaply made built-in unit on one side and beige carpet.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

We struggled over how to fix the mantle. Replace it with some reclaimed lumber? Build a box over it? Paint it black? Ignore it and pretend it's not there? Tempting. In the end we decided to simply remove it all together. We hung our favorite painting over it the fireplace, added some accessories and cleaned the dang thing out (note to homeowners: a little shoveling of the ashes and some Windex go a long way). Paired with our new wood floors and kick-butt furniture layout and voila:

Now THAT'S a fireplace!

Before & After...again: Master Bedroom

2009-07-16T18:18:00.003-05:00

I can admit when I'm wrong. Sometimes. Or I can at least admit when there's a better way to skin a cat. (What a gross phrase, huh? Some masochistic pre-serial killer probably came up with it right before hacking the heads off his sister's Barbie dolls and setting them on fire.)

But I digress.

Mom poo-pooed my Target sheets and make-shift master bedroom design. And so we hit the mall, the fabric store and our friendly neighborhood Thrift World in search of a way to make it better.

Let's revisit. Here's what the room looked like when we first spent the night in it.

Quaint, no? Sort of East LA chic.

Well we made it better with furniture and a bed and paint. (yay paint!)

But let's face it. This hodge-podge of mismatched furniture was sort of funky and cute, but it was a small step up from a dorm room. We could do better! We could have - gasp! dare we dream? - a headboard! And matching sheets that didn't come from Target! (not that I'm knocking Target...I love me some Target...some of my finest ensembles were created at Target)

BUT (and there's always a but) we still had to stay within our budget which is, ahem, tiny. Hence our visit to Thrift World where we found a headboard for - WAIT FOR IT - 98 cents. No, I'm not kidding - look at the receipt:

Add $28 to rent a U-Haul truck to get it home...

...and we've got ourselves a good starting point. Next we hit Dillard's for a super linen sale. And then it was on to Hancock Fabrics to find some coordinating fabrics for a bedskirt, throw pillow and headboard. We hit the jackpot!

Now to reupholster - there were two layers of fabric, each lovelier than the next:

I was tempted to keep this one but stained pastel paisley is SO last season.

Big thanks to Mom the Sewing Queen and Design Assistant Magnus for "testing" out all the fabrics for chew-resistance and softness against his nether regions. A little elbow grease and good sense and we're left with this:

I can't wait to sleep in it tonight! And Design Assistant Magnus and his nether regions are just going to have to find another place to park themselves.

Before & After: Guest Room #2

2009-07-15T11:56:00.003-05:00

Things I love about my mother:

1. Her unconditional love no matter how crazy I try to drive her. And believe me when I say I try HARD.
2. Her quirky sense of humor.
3. Her cooking skills and patience with my lack thereof.

But possibly one of the most admirable things about the woman who gave me life is her ability to sew a bed skirt in under 15 minutes. Her proverbial kick in the pants got us feeling quite rejuvinated about home improvement. And together we decided to tackle the second guest room.

Let's take a trip down memory lane and see what it used to look like, shall we?

One word: Meh. Nothing great and nothing horrific about it. Sort of vanilla. No wait, I take it back...I love vanilla. This is more like...well like a plain rice cake. Nothing great, nothing stomach-turning.

The inspiration for the room? Mr. P's passion for surfing. As you may imagine there isn't a TON of surfing in Omaha. (shock! dismay!) So we decided to surprise him with a fun room that pays homage to his passion and makes our guests feel totally radical dude.

Voila:

If I may take a moment to toot my own thrifty horn, notice the black lamp on the nightstand. Here's what it used to look like:

$2 at a yard sale. $4 can of glossy black spray paint. Shade recycled from another lamp we had.

Toot, toot! Okay, now back to the room:

Design Assistant Magnus has never seen the ocean but he's pretty sure he would really like surfing and therefore approves of the room:

Surfs up!

Changing a light fixture...

2009-07-02T08:38:00.001-05:00

Last week Mr. P and I decided it was time to add some pizzazz to our dining room which is still chairless. (sigh...) We decided that a new chandelier would be just what the doctor ordered. Perhaps you'll remember what the old one looked like:

Not bad, right? Just not as eye-catching as we wanted it to be. We picked out a new fixture and Mr. P decided to hang it himself. Only we decided to do this at 10pm...and we had to cut the lights for safety. So at about 11pm this is how things were going at our place:

Not good. But then we discovered the GENIUSES at DoItYourself.com and from then on it was smooth (-ish) sailing! Check it out!

P.S. Mr. P insists on putting Design Assistant Magnus' squeaky cheeseburger on my gorgeous palm-leaf platter. Why must he torment me?

Design Assistant Magnus got a bad haircut...

2009-07-01T08:47:00.000-05:00

I shouldn't have listened to Mr. P. "Trim it short, get rid of the skirt and have them cut it all one length - he'll be cooler that way."

Here's the before:

Sure he's a little scraggly looking but so cute and cuddly!

And here's the after:

Oh Magnus. I am so sorry, buddy. It'll grow out...someday.

Garden progress...

2009-07-01T08:23:00.000-05:00

Well helloooooooooooo blueberries! Yesterday I ate these for breakfast!

Poor Mr. P...no blueberries for him. (this is all our little bush produced) But I'm confident there will be more where that came from. Afterall, check out our robust garden:

Soon we're going to have tomatoes up the wazoo!

And I almost forgot...peppers, too! These are anaheim peppers which I think Mr. P planted in homage to our Southern California roots:

Does anyone have some fun tomato recipes? Otherwise I'll be using them as decorative centerpieces the way the HGTV designers use green apples.

...hey, I may be on to something there! Back off, Vern Yip! This one is mine!

New roof...

2009-06-30T09:53:00.000-05:00

[Side note: I clearly need more caffeine...I typed "Noo roof" in the title of this blog....yikes. Glad I caught it before publishing although perhaps you readers would've thought I was just being all clever and stuff.]

Okay, back to the business at hand. We're having a new roof put in today!

(please try to ignore the dead boxwoods which we tried to resuscitate with little success - they will be replaced soon.)

The thing about roof installation is that IT IS REALLY FRIGGIN LOUD and makes you want to stuff things into your ears and pick off roofers one-by-one with a strong garden hose. Oh and it also makes a mess in your yard. Design Assistant Magnus just about fainted when he saw that front yard:

But he quickly cheered up when he realized that the constant pounding of hammers made it necessary for Mrs. P to take him out for lots of walks in order to escape the madness creeping in.

MAHA Music Festival to hit Omaha in August...

2009-06-30T09:42:00.002-05:00

There is just always something to do in this town. A group of locals has just announced a new independent music festival for our fair city this August.

The lineup is still coming together, but definitely looks promising. (OMG! G.Love & Special Sauce!)

Click here to get the scoop from the guys over at Silicon Prairie News.

More landscaping updates...

2009-06-30T09:02:00.000-05:00

We removed ONE MORE unecessary shrub as recommended by the brilliant amateur landscape artist Blake.

Check out the difference! Here's the before one more time:

And here's the after:

Matthew Sweet, The Guess Who and aliens in Omaha...

2009-06-30T07:44:00.003-05:00

Sorry for disappearing, folks! It's been a busy week and a half here in The Big O and we've had home improvement on the back burner while we continued to explore the city. (I also indulged in a lot of daytime TV while Mr. P was out of town and there was no one to make me feel guilty about choosing Tyra over spackle.)

One of the greatest ways to explore Omaha is through its music and summer festival scene. First up, 90's rocker Matthew Sweet at one of the hippest music venues in town: The Slowdown.

You may remember Matthew Sweet from his hit song "Girlfriend"...or, like me, you may not. But then I heard the song and had one of those "ooooooooooooh" moments. It's not Matthew's fault. If your name isn't "The Beatles" you can be pretty sure I have no idea what songs are yours or what band you're in.

Anywho it was a great show in a great space and I rocked out to a bunch of songs I'd never heard before.

Next up on the list is a free concert in Memorial Park (they have a lot of free shows...it's great).

Performing were Grand Funk Railroad and The Guess Who. I'll be honest, Grand Funk Railroad was a little harder for me to place - I've never been a huge fan of jam bands - but they were great. But The Guess Who stole the show. And yes, you DO know The Guess Who - they wrote "American Woman" (for those of you under 30, Lenny Kravitz remade their song a few years ago) along with other awesome hits like "These Eyes." Design Assistant Magnus is a huge fan:

What a great show! There was music, dancing, food, 45,000 people (many who clearly came from the far-off lands of rural Nebraska), and GLOW STICKS! Let's see what happens when you give a three year old 20 glow sticks and not enough supervision:

Kidding! Well not about this being a three year old covered in glow sticks but about the lack of supervision. In fact, here's his daddy, the creator of his adorable son's "Tron" costume:

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, huh? Ha! The concert ended with a beautiful pre-Fourth of July fireworks show:

(FYI - Design Assistant Magnus does NOT love fireworks which is odd because he has such an eye for color.)

This weekend we went to the Omaha Summer Art Festival held downtown. Hundreds of artists and food vendors (VIPs, in my book) lined the street and shopped their wares.

My favorite piece? This groovy alien-themed hearse complete with "dead alien" on the roof:

Fancy.

We ended the afternoon with a stroll through beautiful downtown Omaha where other than one dicey moment when Design Assistant Magnus fell into the river (we quickly fished him out but had to enjoy the smell of wet dog and river water the whole way home) it was a lovely afternoon!

Glamour's 9 Things That Keep Every Relationship Going Strong

2009-06-29T15:09:00.004-05:00

Check out #4 by little old me! Especially important for those couples attempting to remodel a home! :)

9 Things That Keep Every Relationship Going Strong

Before & After: Half-bath remodel...

2009-06-23T06:52:00.003-05:00

The 12-Step Program Bathroom Remodel.

Step 1:
Well it certainly has potential! Hunter green checkered wallpaper really isn't THAT bad. Isn't wallpaper back in style? No? Well no matter. We're going to spruce it up and it's going to be great! Yikes...I think this wallpaper is making me dizzy. Does anyone have a paper bag?

Step 2:
Nobody panic - look how easily this wallpaper is coming off! HOORAY! We're saved!

Step 3:
WHY GOD, WHY?!? We spoke too soon. A rotting wall hidden by the wallpaper. And come to think of it, I hate this sink. Breathe...just breathe - in through the nose, out through the mouth. We'll just replace the rotted wall. Yeah, that's what we'll do. It'll be great!

Step 4:
@%%@$!&%!!!!!!!!!! DAMN YOU WALL! Okay, come on man - get it together. You can do this. Where's that Home Depot book? Ah, here it is. "Chapter 12: Drywall." Um...hmm...yeah, not really helping. Time to call Dad.

Step 5:
Whew! Okay, that was dicey but with Dad's help we got the wall out. Now for a little plaster over the mildew-resistant drywall and voila! See? I'm all OVER this! I rock!

Step 6:
"Hey, Mr. P? Where'd you put the sink and toilet? Ah, I see...well we do like to leave a lasting impression on the neighbors."

Step 7:
Yikes. Even Design Assistant Magnus is embarrassed.

Step 8:
Out with the old light fixture...

Step 9:
And in with the new.

Step 10:
Now it's time for a little paint! Think Mr. P will notice it's lavender? [fast forward 15 minutes...] Mr. P: "Hey, is this PURPLE?"

Step 11:
New sink, toilet and hardware make all the difference!

Step 12:
Add a few accessories, replace the baseboard and voila!

We have lift-off! (Whew! SO much better than the "Port-A-Potty of Last Resort")

Getting ripped off on Craigslist...

2009-06-22T09:00:00.001-05:00

Mr. P and I have had really good luck on Craigslist. We've sold hundreds of dollars in stuff and we've bought a lot of stuff, too. Recently we saw a posting for a kitchen breakfast nook set and thought it would work perfectly in our space.

The woman posted a picture of the set on the listing - it looked more or less like this only not white:

Sort of cute, no? And for the $75 she was asking for it it seemed like a steal. (we just saw it in the American Airlines Sky Mall catalog for $449)

When we went to pick it up she had taken it apart so we could fit it in the car. HERE IS WHERE I SHOULD HAVE SEEN A PROBLEM. We brought it home and when we were unloading it I realized we were missing a part of the "L." I thought, "Surely it's at her house and we accidentally left it...we'll be able to go pick up the other half of this thing tomorrow."

But "KerryBerrie" (that's her Craigslist moniker) has not returned emails or phonecalls. We were tempted to drive back to her house but it's in a sketchy neighborhood and I have no interest in being featured on an episode of Dateline. Mostly because I find Keith Morrison sort of creepy:

Anywho, back to Craigslist.

Well we showed KerryBerrie! Check out our little breakfast nook now! We ditched the half-missing banquet part, painted the table and bench black and paired it with some cute (read: cheap) chairs that I painted and reupholstered using the fabric from and old skirt:

Suck on that, Craigslist Deadbeats far and wide! You cannot defeat us!

Flash mob pillow fight...

2009-06-20T19:12:00.005-05:00

Perhaps if you're an uber-cool hipster such as I you are already familiar with the term "flash mob." But just in case you're not clinically addicted to the internet or you missed that episode of CSI: Miami, allow me to explain.

According to our friends at Dictionary.com a flash mob is a group of people who organize on the Internet and then quickly assemble in a public place, do something bizarre, and disperse.

Well lord knows Mr. P and I are always up for something bizarre and so it should be no surprise that we were on this like white on rice.

FLASH MOB: 2:00 p.m., Saturday @ Memorial Park...PILLOW FIGHT!

Here's Mr. P getting ready to rumble:

Check out the motley crew behind him, including this lovely young lady who is a member of the Omaha Rollergirls roller derby team.

Yes that IS a Mexican wrestling mask...and yes those ARE sparkly orange knickers...and yes I WOULD love to own a pair of sparkly orange knickers but NO I would NOT wear them INSTEAD OF pants and in public...but I LOVE that she did! Folks, those roller derby ladies mean business and after seeing her sporting the Crayon Pillows of Doom(TM) I decided to sit on the sidelines with Design Assistant Magnus and watch the action. And boy was there ever some action! Once the whistle blew it was sheer chaos!

Here's Mr. P beating up some teenage boys:

But don't feel too bad for them. Minutes later the tables had turned:

After about 20 minutes and three rounds of pillow fights the crowd dispersed and just a few kind souls were left behind to pick up the mounds of feathers and stuffing. (these flash mobbers are very consciencious you know)

Design Assistant Magnus didn't get in on the action. Instead he stayed back and played with his BFF Sookie. Perhaps you'll remember Sookie from an earlier post where I commented on her love of putting Magnus' entire head in her mouth. Let's see how things are going:

Yep, some things never change.

STOP...Hammertime!

2009-06-20T19:05:00.002-05:00

Look! Our favorite neighborhood vandal is at it again!

He's struck again, painting HAMMERTIME on yet ANOTHER stop sign! Who could it be? It's as if he's thumbing his nose at us - sticking out his tongue and giving us a loud "pbbbbltttttttttttttt!" If only we could track this hooligan down. I'd give him a piece of my mind:

Design Assistant Magnus!? How COULD you!? And in such a lovely neighborhood, too! That's it. No more belly rubs, Dog Whisperer or playdates with Sookie for you, young man. You're grounded!

This article made me giggle...'cause I totally get it.

2009-06-18T15:10:00.003-05:00

Ahem:

"Female homeowners were also carrying around more aggravation, making less time for leisure, and were less likely to spend time with friends."

Female Homeowners Sadder, Fatter Than Renters

Posted using ShareThis

You say tomayto, I say tomahto...

2009-06-18T13:48:00.000-05:00

Check it out! Our tomatoes are blooming! (hatching? growing? sprouting? spontaneously combusting? whatev.)

And these - for those of you city gals and guys who like me can't tell the difference between tomatoes and any other vegetable in existance - are (or will be) peppers:

The Miracle Grow is really paying off! At this rate we'll have enough for ONE sandwich come December. YAY!

Awesome ad...

2009-06-17T17:15:00.003-05:00

Question. What exactly IS a love sack?

I've heard of a love seat. I've heard of a love shack. LOVE SHACK, BABY!

But I have never heard of a love sack. And quite frankly I don't think I want to, I don't care WHAT condition it's in.

Eating Omaha...

2009-06-17T16:45:00.007-05:00

I've made reference in earlier posts to Omaha's kick-butt food scene. But this weekend with Mr. P's folks in town we were able to discover even more local haunts that made us cry "lord have mercy!"

Among them French Cafe, a gorgeous brasserie-style restaurant in the heart of Omaha's Old Market district. First and foremost I plan on stealing the electric pink tree in the back corner - it's pink, it shimmers, and it walks a fine line between super cool and just plain tacky. MUST HAVE IT.

I ordered the steak frites because I'm a sucker for red meat and who doesn't love a good pile o' frites? Oui oui.

For dessert the world's largest profiterole or as I like to call it, "that giant flaky ice cream thingy."

And as if that weren't enough, we walked down the street to the Old Market Candy Store where we picked up a dozen mud balls, a cross between a truffle, an Oreo and a cheesecake ball. If that's wrong I don't wanna be right.

Next up on the Road to High Cholesterol was Dixie Quicks.

Doesn't look like much, does it? It's surprisingly less "divey" on the inside and reservations are a must. The restaurant was featured on the Food Network's "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives" a show that I believe is funded by the American Butter Churners Union. And Dixie Quicks is a solid addition to the program. The french toast was the size of a bowling ball, the pancakes were fluffy and delicious, and my dish - the Dixie Scramble - made me want to stand up and salute.

Oh sure, sure...we did make time for some good home cooking. My mother-in-law is an amazing cook and we grilled chicken and vegetables one night. But then we hopped right back on the Lipitor Express with a visit to Louis M's Burger Lust:

No, really. That's what it's called. And the burgers are positively TO DIE FOR. I had guacamole, bacon and cheddar cheese on mine. And no, I have no regrets. I'm building up a solid layer of fat to keep me warm this winter.

And to celebrate the in-laws' visit we ended with dinner at a great spot near our house followed by ice cream at the most fantastic ice cream shop you could ever imagine: e-Creamery. How many places do you know that will let you customize your ice cream, gelato or sorbet right down to the label? You can have it shipped to just about anywhere in the US or, if you're lucky enough to live 15 blocks away, you can just go pick it up. This week they were celebrating the College World Series by offering special flavors representing each team.

Just FYI, I opted for the Virginia Victory Mix but the Tar Heel Meal was winning. (what do you expect? it has sweet cream ice cream with Reeses's Peanut Butter Cups and hot fudge.)

To work off our delicious desserts we did what all newcomers to Omaha do...we stalked Warren Buffet's house. And for all of you who are curious to know:

Not as massive as you would think, huh? And obviously it's no Ranch. But hey Warren, if you're reading this, I'm happy to come by and help jazz things up. I'm now a mulching magician, an uber-upholsterer, and a weeding wizard. Just let me know when I should swing by!

Aaaaaaaaaaand we're back...

2009-06-17T16:26:00.004-05:00

Sorry for the radio silence, folks! We were enjoying a lovely and productive visit from Mr. P's fabulous parents who tackled several tasks with us without a single complaint. (god love 'em)

Behold! I would like to enter into evidence Exhibit A, a $4 ottoman I picked up at a yard sale:

A little batting, some new fabric, black spraypaint for the feet (obviously I had to find a way to incorporate spraypaint into this project - it's my fave) and a staple gun and we have this:

Cute, yes? Why THANK you! You're not so bad yourself!

But enough about me. Back to home improvement. Remember what the outside of the house looked like?

We weeded, we Rounded-Up, we mulched (15 bags and we could probably use a few more)...we sweat and whined. (well mostly I sweat and whined) But check out the front yard now! (big thanks to amateur landscape artist Blake Jones for recommending we rip out the ugly bushes on the left...SUCH a difference! we're tackling the ones on the right this weekend.) Some new house numbers, a new light fixture and some flowers in a pretty pot and voila:

So much brighter and more open! Even Design Assistant Magnus put on his gardening gloves and got into the action:

We also hemmed and hung up new curtains in the living room, tore out some ugly fixtures in the 1/2 bath and are halfway through the remodel. Pictures to come soon!

More yaaaaaaaaaaaard sale-ing away....

2009-06-15T08:59:00.003-05:00

Mr. P's parents are in town and yesterday we hit some yard sales. (yes, I know...we're quite the entertainers) We went everywhere from the fanciest to the sketchiest neighborhoods and there was one theme that seemed to extend cross socio economic level.

Underwear and other "nether-region-related" items for sale. Behold:

I appreciate his effort to display his wears but hanging a dirty mattress and a collection of sassy-colored brassieres on your fence is...um, well a little much. Would you buy a bra from that guy? From the same place you picked up a Scream mask and a bed bug ridden mattress? Please look at his face as I stealthily (okay maybe not THAT stealthily) snap a picture. Not exactly Victoria's Secret's #1 salesman.

But wait, there's more. Need some panties to match those bras?

Voila. A six-pack for $4 - how can you beat it? At least they're still in the original wrapping...which is more than I can say for this Tupperware bin of slips and panties:

Fun. But gentlemen need not feel left out! Here's ONE PAIR of boxer shorts:

No reasonable offer will be rejected! Hey, I have an offer! I'll give you $5 TO THROW THEM IN THE TRASH LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE DO WITH OLD UNDERPANTS. And speaking of trash, here's someone that no household should be with out. Editors at "Oprah's Favorite Things" list, take note:

Wow. A handpainted bed pan. Color me impressed. (and sort of nauseous) Needless to say we passed on this one. But I almost didn't pass on this unrelated item these sellers were asking $4 for:

I can't believe that I couldn't make room for a five-foot mascot head. (what was this mascot? a worm? a bumble bee? a yellow Al Roker?) First, we couldn't fit it in the car. Second, we couldn't fit it in our house. Third, I am not a COMPLETE weirdo. So there's that.

We've been really working the in-laws this weekend - lots of changes in the garden and good progress in the 1/2 bath. I'll be uploading more pictures later today so tune back in!

Busy kids...

2009-06-14T21:37:00.003-05:00

Sorry we haven't posted in a few days but we've been really busy! We'll have a TON of updates soon. In the meantime, check out this hilarious new ad from the folks at Nike. The best line, "Kobe, have you ever ate an empanada."

Puppet Kobe and Lebron Babysitting - The best free videos are right here

Easily amused...

2009-06-11T08:05:00.002-05:00

We live in a lovely area of town called Fairacres. It's beautiful, people are friendly, the houses are pretty...so this just about cracked me up. This is the extent of our "hooligan behavior" here in this neck of the woods:

In case you can't make it out it says: "STOP - HAMMER TIME."

Ha ha ha! Oh that just SLAYS me!

Let's check on the garden, shall we?

2009-06-11T06:50:00.007-05:00

Remember what it looked like when we started?

Well check out these babies now!

And check out my blueberries! I think soon we'll have enough for one TINY BOWL of cereal!

And yesterday Mr. P - who in a past life was apparently part of the Swiss Family Robinson - built some tomato trellises (trellis? trelli?) out of tree branches:

Not bad, huh? Now if he could only build me a chaise lounge and dining chairs I'd be all set!

In the meantime we're attempting to pump up our veggies with plant steroids:

I'm not sure how these tiny balls (that resemble green NERD candies) work but I'm told it'll help our tomatoes grow nice and big. (and I like this option better than the idea of composting rotting fruit, grass and dog poop and using it as fertilizer - I'm all for sustainability but I draw the line and PURPOSELY putting dog poop on the tomatoes that I will later EAT.)

Plus I'm not much of a sportsman and I lack patience so I love the idea of giving our tomatoes an unfair advantage.

Nothing to do with home improvement but...

2009-06-10T15:49:00.003-05:00

I was just checking my email on Yahoo and this ad popped up:

Um, really? Really Dr. Oz? I thought you were better than this. You've been on Oprah for the love of Pete. OPRAH!

Is this the best you can do? And who is this poor woman? I don't know what kind of snake oil you're peddling but come ON now. That's just not nice...nor is it making me want to click on the friggin' ad.

For shame. Foooooor shame.

What your dog does when you're not home...

2009-06-10T14:30:00.003-05:00

Apparently Magnus' allergies are acting up. How do I know? Because when I got home from a lovely lunch I found this:

Yes, that was a box of tissues.

No, I didn't think he could climb up on the coffee table to get them.

Yes, he did leave something else on the living floor but I opted not to photograph it. You can thank me later.

Help! My lawn is being invaded by mushrooms!

2009-06-10T10:58:00.005-05:00

Does anyone know what kind of mushrooms these are? I'm worried that Magnus will eat one and get sick! Any way to get rid of them? They're slowly taking over the lawn!

And no, I will not try eating one to see what happens. Thanks.

Cool web site...

2009-06-10T08:44:00.001-05:00

Current online shopping obsession: Etsy.com. Etsy.com sells all kinds of handmade goodies - from home stuff to paper goods to...well you get the point. Check it out!

Before & After: Guest Room #1

2009-06-10T06:12:00.004-05:00

There was nothing WRONG with the guest room, per se. It was just...sort of vanilla:

Cream walls, cream carpet, cream window treatments and a weird door leading to the kitchen. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...I can barely stay awake just LOOKING at this thing! I have been accused of being many things, but never vanilla. I think I'm more dulce de leche with chocolate syrup and a side of pizza. You know, over the top, unecessary and bound to give you indigestion.

And speaking of over the top, check it out:

Ay chihuahua! Muy muy festive, yes? I'm on the hunt for something to hang over the bed - that wall looks lonely to me, doesn't it? Any suggestions? My assistant Magnus thinks we should mount a giant rubber Kong stuffed with peanut butter. But I think I might go a different route. Afterall, his job is to look cute, not to make design recommendations.

Well done, buddy. Well done.

We are ready for visitors! Come on down, friends!

Scared....

2009-06-09T21:47:00.001-05:00

I am outside waiting for Magnus to do his Ps & Ts (poops and tinkles...yes, I'm precious, sue me) and it's cold outside.

Not freezing but cold enough that I'm wearing a sweatshirt and I really wish Magnus would stop chasing moths and just P already, dang it!

It's June and I'm wishing I had on wool socks. I am scared...so very very scared of what winter will bring.

Hey any friends planning destination weddings - pick the Bahamas in January, will ya? I'll buy you the fanciest toaster money can buy if yo do!

We're yard saaaaale-ing away...(again)

2009-06-09T06:00:00.004-05:00

Another great yard sale day on a gray and cloudy Saturday in Omaha. Our spirits couldn't be dampened as we head out to see what the yard sale gods had in store for us. And we scored!

First, the lamps. Check out this baby:

Hard to believe it was just 75 cents, no? Okay maybe not. But still, lamps are expensive people! 75 CENTS IS A STEAL! Even if it IS ugly as sin! The important thing is that it has POTENTIAL. I liked the shape so I gave the seller a whole $1 and went on my merry way.

First, I taped off the socket and the electrical cable so they wouldn't get painted. (I left the lighbulb in to protect the inside of the bulb socket.)

Next I lightly sanded the lamp so the paint would adhere better to the surface. And then it was spray paint time! (hey anal retentive types...use a glove on your painting hand to protect your skin. And do this in a well ventilated area...spray paint fumes can give you a headache quicker than cheap champagne, trust me!)

A $15 shade from Lowes (Target has good lampshade options, too) and voila:

Cute, yes? Hooray! This is fun! What else can I spray paint?

How about this? An old desk that is just the right size for the guest room and at $10 well, I can't afford NOT to buy it!

I splurged on a $6 drawer pull from Lowes and a $4 can of black spray paint (I love spray paint - just hold the can a good 9-12 inches away from what you're painting and move it back and forth in a smooth motion...and use a small foam brush to smooth out drips) and here's what we've got:

Not to shabby for a total spend of $20! I may have put too much stuff on it, and I used a framed photo to hide the tangle of cables, but this is a tight space and a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

I've got a whole list of stuff I'm on the hunt for. Watch out, Omaha yard sellers! Mrs. P is on the prowl!

Magnus' playdate...

2009-06-08T16:28:00.006-05:00

Meet Sookie, Magnus' new B.F.F. (and I apologize because I can't figure out why this friggin' picture won't switch to vertical...just tilt your screens a bit, will ya?)

Magnus and Sookie went to the dog park today. They met a lot of other dog friends:

It was muddy and Sookie decided to play a super fun game called "let's see if I can fit Magnus' head in my mouth!"

And so after about an hour my little white pup looked like this:

And here's a close-up:

His hair was stiff with a combination of mud, dog drool and Milk Bone crumbs and his paws and back were covered in mud. And so we went straight to Pet Smart where they gave him a super bath.

Here is the after:

And a close-up:

Sooooooooooooo much better. Is it wrong that I plan to wrap him in Saran Wrap before allowing him outside?

Exploring Omaha - music and, um, well junk...

2009-06-07T19:29:00.003-05:00

Another lovely weekend in Omaha!

We're starting to discover that Omahans just love any excuse to be outdoors. That's probably because winters here are rough. Personally I plan on subsisting on pizza delivery, not shaving to help maintain body heat and not leaving my house until April. But I've been known to be a tad dramatic at times.

This weekend we strolled to a friend's house for some drinks and sparkling conversation before heading down the block for to a great free (free! yay!) concert in Memorial Park. The band: Gomez, a British group with a folksy rock sound and a love of dirty Levis. (click here to check them out - c'mon, broaden your musical horizons a bit!)

Good times!

Earlier in the day we discovered a great salvage shop called A&R Salvage. From old clawfoot tubs to stained glass church windows and enough colored toilets and sinks to make your head spin, this place is very cool. Think of it like a big version of your grandpa's attic + the dump + that sketchy empty lot you used to play in as a kid even though your mom told you to stay away. (or was that just me?)

Look, Mr. P discovered the grill section:

Not to be confused with the GRILLZ section which sells these:

Ha! I kid! (but I wouldn't be surprised if these A&R guys had a bucket of these somewhere)

We bought a grill to replace one that was missing and hiding behind an old built-in and we went on our merry way. What a great weekend!

Omaha, you're my favorite!

Hooray! The couch is here!

2009-06-05T14:21:00.002-05:00

At times it seemed like the impossible dream - to sit on our couch and watch TV. But friends, the impossible dream came true last night. Our couch was delivered and we moved the TV back into the living room and finished all the painting. At last we were able to sit and watch the playoffs!

We love our couch! It's so comfy! It's so big! It's so sit-able! (yes, I realize that's not a real word but it's my blog and I can make up words if I want to) Let's see if Magnus approves:

Yes. Yes, Magnus approves.

Hey, Mr. P! What do you think of the new couch?

"@#%@#%@$ BASEBOARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Yikes. Okay, clearly someone needs a nap, some basketball and a beer. Perhaps we'll take a home improvement break before Mr. P throws a hammer through the window.

TGIF!

Playing with our dog

2009-06-04T22:16:00.002-05:00

We took a break from painting tonight to play with Magnus in the back yard. He loves to be chased.

Before & After: The Kitchen

2009-06-04T06:15:00.000-05:00

I haven't cooked in my kitchen since we got to Omaha. Why? Because since we got here it has looked like this:

And more specifically this:

Um, ew. There has been plaster and wallpaper glue on every surface and because the room is a pass through between the garage/mudroom and living room, it seems to attract crapola. I mean, just look at that picture. Virginia peanuts (thanks Joan!), pliers, gardening sheers, mosquito repellent candles, dirt...would YOU want to eat in there? No, I didn't think so.

We removed a lot of wallpaper in this room. And the wallpaper removed a lot of paint and plaster. We spent a lot of time in this position (with my sidekick, of course):

So after a lot of spackling, sanding, priming and painting we now have this:

Aw, yay! It's not final and the floors suck compared to my gorgeous new living room floors, but a new kitchen falls a distant second to fixing the master bathroom and seeing a chiropractor. Curtains are on my "to buy" list as is a new kitchen table and chairs. But I couldn't resist this cute blue bamboo set even if you do feel like your butt is going to break through the seat should you opt for an extra serving of eggs during breakfast.

Oh, quick shout-out to my sister and brother-in-law who sent me a box of Omaha Steaks burgers, franks and bacon. Ya'll these are NO JOKE. Omaha makes some FINE meat.

Mmmmm...meat.

Okay, back to installing some baseboards. Mr. P is cursing like a sailor so I think I should either offer to help or pour a glass of whiskey, STAT.

House Beautiful: Home Accessories You Don't Need

2009-06-03T22:45:00.004-05:00

Click here to read a great article about home accessories you don't need.

One of them is a cashmere throw. Who buys cashmere throws? Actually I'm sure a lot of people buy cashmere throws...and when they start selling them at Old Navy and/or Lowes I'll buy them, too. Even if they are uncessary.

New chairs!

2009-06-03T22:35:00.001-05:00

Hooray! My new chairs are here! Let's see if the boys like them:

Yep, I think we've got a winner.

It's time to play Weeds Or No Weeds!

2009-06-03T10:00:00.000-05:00

Alright ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! It's time for America's favorite game (and by "America" I mean "me"), Weeds Or No Weeds!

It's easy to play! Correctly guess whether these plants are weeds or not! The person with the most correct answers wins a baseball cap from Lawrenceville Brick, Virginia's finest brickmaker and distributor. (click here to visit their web site!) Obviously we're brick fans - shoot, we bought a brick house for the love of Pete.

Alrighty! Time to start our game. Ready? Here we go!

Number 1 - Weeds Or No Weeds?

Number 2 - Weeds Or No Weeds?

Number 3 - Weeds Or No Weeds?

Number 4 - Weeds Or No Weeds?

Number 5 - Weeds Or No Weeds?

Number 6 - Weeds Or No Weeds?

Number 7 - Weeds Or No Weeds?

Number 8 - Weeds Or No Weeds?

Enter your answers in the Comments section - we'll pick a winner on Friday!

Good luck!

Changing out drawer pulls...

2009-06-02T11:13:00.003-05:00

You've seen it on all the home improvement shows - changing out cabinet hardware really makes a difference and doesn't have to cost a ton.

Target and Lowes have a great selection of knobs and handles. All it takes is a few minutes and a screw driver. You DO have a screw driver, right? Ladies, I'm talking to you here - even if you outsource your home repair you should at LEAST have two screw drivers - one phillips one flat head. Here's the set I covet:

Buy it and get with the program.

Anywho, back to the drawer pulls. Check out the difference on the kitchen cabinets - and keep in mind that this was a cheap 10-pack from Lowes. (we're going to remodel the kitchen soon so we didn't want to invest too much):

Much better, yes? I suppose the white pulls went with the French country/toile thing. But we've moved on and now so have our cabinets.

And look at what a $5 fixture and a fresh coat of white paint did for the ironing board:

Before:

After:

Now it doesn't look like a relic from Nana's house.

The point is not all remodeling requires hundreds or thousands of dollars. Small touches can change the feel of the space.

And thank god for that. This Money Pit is sucking us dry!

Before & After: The Mudroom

2009-06-02T06:00:00.001-05:00

For those of you who live in a place where the term "mud room" is nonexistent, allow me to drop some knowledge. A mudroom is typically a room off the garage or entryway that is used for removing muddy boots, dropping a wet umbrella, leaving coats, etc.

In our case the mudroom has to double as a laundry room and office space for me.

Here are some before pictures:

Ooooh, pretty. Cream and hunter green checkered wallpaper as far as the eye can see. (if it hasn't made you cross-eyed yet, that is)

We were thrilled the previous owner managed to get added use out of the green toile curtains from the kitchen in this room. By the way has anyone noticed that by adding a "T" to the word toile you get TOILET? Ironic because that's where these draperies ended up. Well all of them except one panel that will be used to make a sassy golf accessory for our fabulous realtor Angie. (it's coming Angie...don't you fret!)

Actually I have nothing against toile - we just had too much of it. One wall would've been fine, a few curtain panels even...but the whole room? A bit much. And you're talking to the queen of a bit much.

Where was I? Oh yes! The after! Now keep in mind it's not totally finished - I need a bookshelf for my office supplies and MULTIPLE PR INDUSTRY AWARD TROPHIES (ahem...) and we'll eventually change the ugly laminate floors. I've purposely not shown you the other side of the room because I have five paint rollers, three DIY manuals and a whole lot of paint sitting on the utility sink. (not to mention the situation of the GAPING HOLE in the 1/2 bath.) But it's in a lot better shape than it was before!

Amazing what a fresh coat of paint can do, huh?

The living room is coming together!

2009-06-01T15:20:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned earlier today is the final day of the re-plastering efforts in our living/dining room.

Quick story (don't you roll your eyes at the screen). The plaster guy has a massive hernia and he's having surgery on June 26. His wife (also his business partner) was telling me about said hernia and told him to show me. I took a pass. (weird, right?) Then today he came into the mudroom to clean up...shirtless...with a MASSIVE GRAPEFRUIT-SIZED BULGE IN HIS SIDE. He has a massive grapefruit size hernia that you can SEE without special doctor tools. OMG. Make it stop.

Okay back to the room.

GUYS. LOOK AT THE WALLS. Remember the before?

And remember this one-way ticket to Suckville?

Well look at these puppies now!

Smoother than a baby's bottom! Now getting them there really did take some work - four coats of plaster and then a LOT of sanding. My living room looked like a powdered donut. See?

Anyone who knows me knows how OCD I am about cleanliness. Cleaning this floor was a nightmare - white dust in every nook and cranny. Two hours later and I'm still cleaning. But it's lookin' good!

Check out those hardwoods! (covered in dust) Almost there!

Final step of the wall re-plastering! YAY!

2009-06-01T10:09:00.001-05:00

We're at step four in the re-plastering of our living room walls. I am just hours away from being able to lounge on a couch like a normal bored housewife. Doesn't it look great?

Well almost...had to drape tarp over the doorways to avoid the entire house being covered in plaster dust (they're sanding down the walls as I type). I am NOT looking forward to cleaning up. Does anyone know if you can train a dog to vaccuum?

Applying to be on an HGTV show...

2009-06-01T07:27:00.000-05:00

It's no secret that my dream is to be selected for an HGTV show. Especially a kitchen or bath remodeling show. Uh, have you SEEN my bathroom? Let's revist, shall we?

Enough said.

The thing is, most of the shows have very specific geographic regions they shoot in...and unfortunately Omaha isn't on a lot of hit lists. That hasn't stopped me from applying to Save My Bath, Spice Up My Kitchen, Rip & Renew and several others.

But nothing yet. Sigh...

HGTV CASTING PEOPLE, IF YOU'RE READING THIS - PLEASE COME TO OMAHA! I WILL BUY YOU ALL THE STEAK YOU CAN EAT! I WILL WASH YOUR RENTAL CARS AND COOK YOU BREAKFAST AND MAKE ENDLESS POTS OF COFFEE, JUST COME!

In the words of the immortal Temptations, "I ain't too proud to beg, sweet darlin'..." (or, because this blog caters to a range of demographics, it could be the immortal words of TLC - "ain't 2 proud to beg.")

But just because my dream has yet to be realized doesn't mean yours can't! Let me live vicariously through you! Here are a list of production companies who make some of the best HGTV shows. Why not apply?

Nancy Glass Productions: Save My Bath, Spice Up My Kitchen, Rip & Renew and Mission Organization.

Pie Town Productions: Design on a Dime, Hammerheads, Designing for the Sexes, Color Correction, Rate My Space, House Hunters, Designer's Challenge, Myles of Style, and more.

Edelman Productions: Curb Appeal, Decorating Cents and a bunch of great shows for the DIY Network.

And click here to see a bunch of opportunities for new and existing shows.

And if you get on a show do me a favor. Try not to rub it in will ya? Oh and do put in a good word for me!

Omaha Summer Festivals...

2009-06-01T07:00:00.000-05:00

To anyone thinking about visiting The Ranch this summer, check out these great food, music and art festivals and plan accordingly!

http://www.omaha.com/index.php?u_page=2620&u_sid=10634368

A birthday break...

2009-05-31T20:03:00.000-05:00

Today is my 31st birthday and what a great birthday weekend it was!

A great dinner followed by salsa dancing with friends on Friday night. Last night we took a break from painting the guest room to go out for a nice birthday dinner at a hip new restaurant called The Boiler Room. For those of you who think Omaha is all cow pastures and tornados, check this out:

The Boiler Room - which got its name because the space was an actual boiler room (clever, yes?) - is in a brick warehouse in the Old Market District, a very cool area of town reminicent of the meat packing district in New York, and full of boutiques, bars and restaurants. (another crowd pleaser, The Twisted Fork, where the house specialty is fried pickles...SO GOOD, I kid you not.)

The restaurant is ultra hip, has an amazing seasonal menu full of unique ingredients (we started with pork rillettes...sort of like pork pate...amazing) and a great wine list. I can't pronounce the name of the wine I had (hint: NOT Boone's Farm) but it was fabulous.

Here's a picture of dessert...because I often photograph my food (don't ask):

Mr. P gave me some great presents - the first of which was the Domino Book of Decorating:

Holy cow is this book great! So many ideas! I love it! You must run out and buy it! (click on the book cover to order it on Amazon and feel as tasteless and unhip as I do when I see other people's ultra cool designs!)

But the best present was a new home remodeling assistant:

Meet Magnus Von Pooperschnitzel III. You can call him Magnus. We got him from the Little White Dog Rescue group (he had been living in an Arkansas puppy mill) He likes having his chin scratched, Milk Bones and, oh yeah, passing gas. He does some light drywalling:

And some painting:

Sigh...it's really had to find good help these days.

Cheap & Chic Headboard Projects: Perfectly Padded

2009-05-29T19:05:00.001-05:00

Next week I'll be attempting to make a headboard. Here are some other fun headboard ideas from Better Homes & Gardens:

Cheap & Chic Headboard Projects: Perfectly Padded

Look who's back in the yard!

2009-05-29T18:19:00.000-05:00

Bunny McFlufferpants!

Sniff, sniff. My how quickly they grow.

I went out to pick some peonies this afternoon and Bunny McFlufferpants' brother hopped out from underneath the bush, enjoying what I can only assume was an afternoon snack. Thankfully he didn't do too much damage. Check out my pretty flowers!

How to Tile Over a Brick Fireplace | eHow.com

2009-05-29T14:07:00.001-05:00

We're going to give this a whirl this weekend. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

How to Tile Over a Brick Fireplace | eHow.com

Give us your advice: Curb Appeal

2009-05-29T09:52:00.001-05:00

Hello friends! Mr. P and I need your help - we've been working dilligently on the interior of the house and I'm afraid we're neglecting the exterior a bit. Let's face it, ranch style homes aren't exactly "charming" in the way a craftsman or colonial are, but they do have character. In the case of our home we'd like to try and up the charm factor a smidge.

Here are pictures snapped this morning. I did paint the wrought iron posts white - they used to be the same brown as the garage door and the trim. Also, we plan on replacing the garage door with a white one and I'm hoping my mother-in-law will help me weed and mulch a bit. Oh, and we also need some tree trimming. Our birch trees are looking shaggy!

But any other thoughts on how to up this house's curb appeal? Let us have it! We love constructive criticism.

Bugs...

2009-05-29T09:32:00.001-05:00

With all these people coming in and out of the house we're letting in all kinds of bugs, flies and creepy crawlies. It's freaking me out.

I just killed a fly the size of a Buick. Seriously he looked like this:

I'm yaaaaaard sale-ing away....

2009-05-29T09:11:00.000-05:00

(Yes that WAS supposed to be an homage to STYX who by the way, will be performing here in Omaha along with REO Speedwagon and .38 Special. I am on that like white on rice.)

Now where was I? Oh right. Yard sales.

Omaha has the most organized yard sale system I have ever seen. Each Friday the Omaha World Herald prints this:

It's a yard sale guide with a map! They map them out for you! It's like they made it especially for me. Which they may have...because I'm sort of a big deal here:

KIDDING! Sorry...couldn't resist.

Anywho the yard sale guide is fantastic. This morning I went to one and got this fantastic chair for my office/dirty hole of doom and tools.

Cute, right? And only $3. I also bought an ottoman in green tweed (which I will reupholster) and some books.

HOORAY! Yard sales are the funnest.

The losing battle with productivity...

2009-05-29T09:04:00.001-05:00

I was thrilled (-ish) when my company gave me the flexibility to work from home. I thought, "hey, no problem - I'll just get my home office set up and tune out all the remodeling!"

For the past week I've tried to do just that but, as often happens during renovations, the powers of evil have conspired against me. Here's what happened yesterday after I'd tried to set up a nice little desk area with all kinds of neat organizational devices:

Harrumph.

For our readers in L.A.

2009-05-28T21:52:00.000-05:00

If you're looking for furniture or home accessories be sure to check out this great store in downtown. They are a wholesaler and only open to the public a few times a month - we got a dining table and coffee table here and love them:

Sweet Smiling Home
Open-to-the-Public Event: Everything 30% to 90% off
http://www.sweetsmilinghome.com/

WHEN:
May 30 & 31: Saturday & Sunday
10:00AM until 5:00PM

OPEN TO THE PUBLIC SALE DAYS ONLY

WHAT:
Open-to-the-public sale event
Furniture, accessories, exotic objects, gifts
Everything 30% to 90% off

WHERE:
1317 Palmetto Street
Los Angeles, CA 90013
Tel: 213 687-9630

WHY:
Shopping Party!

Yay floors! (almost)

2009-05-28T21:08:00.001-05:00

Hey look! Our floors are done! Don't they look...

Awww...booooo. Have to keep them covered to avoid getting drywall schmutz all over them.

But we're getting close!

And check out those walls! Coat number two - just two more and we'll be ready to rock and roll!

Status of rotting 1/2 bath wall...

2009-05-28T21:00:00.000-05:00

It's not looking pretty, folks. 9:00 p.m. and this is where we're at:

Please notice the book - Home Improvement 1-2-3: Expert Advice from The Home Depot.

"This book is good," says Mr. P.

But it's not magic. It wasn't penned by elves or genies.

It cost $14.99 and was prominently displayed under a box of caulk in aisle 12. So...um...this might take awhile. Stay tuned.

Ahem...

2009-05-28T18:17:00.000-05:00

It has been suggested by some (and you know who you are...ROBIN) that I have been letting my dear husband do all the work in our house. Not true - it's just that I have the quicker trigger finger when it comes to photography.

But just in case you have any doubts I present to you Exhibit A which I like to call "When Good Sanders Go Bad":

This sander is supposed to have a feature that sucks up the excess particles. As you can see, they lied. (please make sure to take note of my Lowes work apron/tool belt. Cute, yes?

Exhibit B - "Chicks Dig Powertools":

Please try to ignore my incredibly attractive work ensemble.

I rest my case.

The Wallpaper Trilogy...

2009-05-28T18:15:00.000-05:00

Home ownership is great. Home remodeling? Um…still undecided. The return is great and the sense of accomplishment when finished with a project – well there’s just nothing like it. (at the risk of sounding like that annoying Yoplait commercial, it’s bubble bath/trashy novel/jumbo bag of M&Ms good.) But getting there can be quite the pain in the butt.

First thing’s first: wallpaper. I’m convinced that Satan’s lair in hell is lined with thick, well-glued wallpaper in festive patterns. Our charming 1950s ranch features wallpaper in three rooms – cream/ hunter green checkers in the laundry room/office:

Green toile (no, seriously…I can’t make this stuff up) in the kitchen:

Blue green stripes in the bathroom (which also features a non-working aqua sink with matching toilet and tub):

All three wallpapers are equally hideous (though the toile holds a special place in our hearts) and are all glued on with the same thing Donald Trump uses to keep that hair in place.

In short – I HATE WALLPAPER AND WANT IT TO DIE A SLOW DEATH. No, make that a fast death so that it will get the heck out of my life FOREVER.

Yes yes…I know that designers are trying to tell us that wallpaper is back in style! So many amazing patterns! The perfect accent for your wall!

THEY ARE LIARS. They don’t tell you about what it takes to get that crap OFF your wall. Don’t be fooled. To take down wallpaper:

First, invest in a steamer. We’re told Home Depot might rent them but for about $70 at Costco (or $99 on their web site) you can get a Tobi Steamer that you can later use on clothes, drapes, to give yourself a cheap facial, etc.

Lay down some drop cloth. Seriously, take it from us. Spending hours scraping crusted glue off your floors is no fun. COVER YOUR FLOORS. You’ve been warned.

Score the area you want to remove using a specially made wallpaper scorer. It looks almost like a computer mouse but with little teeth underneath. And those teeth are sharp. Do not rub this on your arm to test the sharpness…again, trust me on this one.

Crank the steamer and hold it up close to your wallpaper – move slowly up and down until you have a good area covered. (remember that steam rises so start low and end high)

And now start picking. Oh yeah – pick like you’ve never picked before. Slowly but surely it’ll start coming off. And I do mean SLOWLY.

Now take a break to curse the day wallpaper was invented.

Okay, back to work. What? Did you think you were done? No chance. Suck it up – this was YOUR idea.

Once you have the first layer off it’s time to get the glue off. Spray the wall with a wallpaper remover spray or gel. We used Piranha Wallpaper & Paste Remover and it worked well on our bionic wallpaper and all the forces of evil working against us.

Use a sponge to spread the remover all around (they sell special wallpaper sponges at Lowes and Home Depot but you can probably use any sponge or cloth – you’ll want something with a slightly abrasive side and a smooth side).

Pause to wonder why you didn't just hire professionals to do this.

Time for scraping. Lowes and Home Depot sell special wallpaper scrapers that are worth the money – they have a scraper on one side and a wheel in the other so it’s easy to run it up and down the wall to scrape off the glue. At this point in the process you’re pretty sure your arms are going to fall off so every little bit helps. Spend the $10.

At this point you’ve probably got most of it off but not all of it. And you need to get all of it off if you want your paint to go on smoothly later. So don’t be lazy – as my grandma would say, “a lazy man does twice the work.” Spray it down again but this time use the abrasive side of the sponge to rub off the remaining glue. Then wipe down the wall with the smooth side of the sponge.

Once you have all the paper off, let it dry and sand down any chunky or rough pieces using regular sand paper or an electric sander if that’s how you roll.

Okay, here’s the part that sucks. (because the other part didn't suck enough) Just when you think you’re done you have to prime. DO NOT waste your time trying to paint without priming after wallpaper removal. It will suck up the paint and look like crapola. Prime well and it’ll save you a lot of money in paint and therapy bills.

I know it’s a pain but the end product is so worth the back ache. I'll post before and after pictures once I've cleaned up a bit - something about having plaster and dust all over your floors that takes away a little of the magic.

For now we'll just rejoice in the fact that we're wallpaper free. A little delirious and high off the smell of wallpaper glue remover spray, but good:

And speaking of surprises...

2009-05-28T15:50:00.000-05:00

Hey kids! Look what was behind the green checkered wallpaper in the half bathroom:

Rotting wall! Hooray!

Someone please put me out of my misery.

Apparently to repair this (because there's water damage) we have to take out the sink and toilet, cut out 1/3 of the wall and replace it with clean drywall. And then put the sink and toilet back in.

Um, okay.

Hmm, this reminds me of a movie. What movie could it be? Ah yes!

The Most Overpriced Cities in America...

2009-05-28T08:31:00.001-05:00

Guess what city is NOT on the list? Click here to see.

Just another reason to move to Omaha!

Rough morning...

2009-05-28T07:26:00.000-05:00

We're taking a home improvement mini-break. All we did yesterday was change out some lightbulbs in the kitchen, and hang a mirror that I'd spray painted black (it used to be attached to our dresser but we sawed it off).

The floors are going to be finished today (yay!) and our drywall friends, Joel & Laurie will be back to put on a second coat of plaster on the walls.

Oh, did I tell you about the walls?

Imagine hard whipped cream cheese spread all over your walls. That's what we had in the living room. It was horrible and if you rubbed against in the wrong way it actually hurt. Take a gander:

Bad, right? It could be fine on the OUTSIDE of the house but the living room? I think not. Also in this room, two cheaply made "built-in" display cases that I'm guessing the previous owner used to display her commemorative plate or porcelin doll collection or perhaps (see my earlier post) something kinkier. You think you know people, you know?

Anyhoodles, being the do-it-0urselfers that we are we decided to rip out said built-ins and try a few different things to smooth out the walls. First the built-ins:

Sweet fancy Jesus those were hard to get out but we managed it, stuffed them in the U-Haul (which we had for a few more days) and took them to the dump.

Side note: Don't judge me but I totally went dumpster diving and plucked out these adorable little tables which were a little beaten up. A little Clorox plus a $4 can of spray paint later and they're adorable and adorning my patio as we speak. I'm sort of like the ghetto Martha Stewart, no?

Oh, you'll also find that with every home improvement project comes a little surprise and this was no different - we found this hole behind one built-in:

Don't be fooled - it's not the gateway to Hades. It's actually just an air return duct leading to the basement. Just had to buy a new grill and replace it. No harm, no foul and only a few bugs sneaking in from the basement.

But I digress. Back to the walls. Okay first we tried sanding them:

See how happy Mr. P looks? He's saying, "Hooray! I get to use my fancy new sander that ALLEGEDLY sucks up all the particles so they don't get all over your fruit bowl!" That's before we realized that sanding was NOT going to work. (and also that it does NOT suck up all the particles) The wall plaster is made out of a mixture of sand and concrete and it was holding on for dear life. So we went to Lowes where our friendly sales clerks suggested we try mudding over the walls with joint compound:

The smile on his face isn't happiness - he's just high off the fumes. Three hours later he'd only finished that corner. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a BIG room - 35 X 16 feet big. We decided to call in the experts. To our credit, eventually we would've gotten there but it was worth every penny for someone to come in and do this in just a few hours:

This process requires about four or five coats of the stuff but it'll eventually get super smooth and paintable. Joel and Laurie are coming back for coat number two this afternoon. Our awesome living room is just days away from being a reality!

And thank god. Mr. P and I need some quality couch time.

It's a Christmas miracle! (in May!)

2009-05-27T14:19:00.000-05:00

The floors are almost done! We are so close to having a beautiful living room I can taste it! (or is that just the saw dust in the air?)

The thing about gardening...

2009-05-27T09:30:00.000-05:00

We are blessed to have a large front and back yard in our new home. Having that much space is great – you’re not right on top of your neighbors and the dog and kids have plenty of room to run around. Oh wait, we don’t have dogs or a kid. Well there’s plenty of room for Mr. P to run around, perferably with a lawn mower in tow.

Out front we have flowers and we have weeds. The thing is, I can’t quite tell the difference. Sure some of them just look…I don’t know, “weedy.” But others...well you can’t be so sure about the others. For example, there was a weird little plant that looked like a weed – I almost pulled it but decided to wait for my mother-in-law’s visit. (she actually knows what she’s doing out there) I’m glad I didn’t pull it because I went out to get the paper this morning and the little “weed” had become this:

Way to go, city slicker. Almost killed the prettiest flower out there.

Two mangy looking bushes turned out to be these:

And a weird looking bush is actually peonies, one of my favorite flowers. I guess I didn’t realize that peonies grow in the wild. I guess I thought they were raised in a Petri dish by the scientists at 1-800-Flowers.

And what about this? I almost dug up these sticks but decided I was too lazy. (I decide that often and much) And thank god I didn't because look:

Joan, if you're reading this, I promise not to touch anything until you get here and save me from myself.

Paint does wonders…

2009-05-27T09:22:00.000-05:00

A little paint goes a long way. Our guest bathroom features a yellow toilet, tub and sink with gray tile. Okay so the sink is sort of cool actually. Check it out:

It's like something out of the Jetson's, no?

To make matters worse the previous owner painted the walls yellow. That’s a LOT of yellow. It’s an assault on the eyes and is a little too reminiscent for my taste of what you PRODUCE in a bathroom. (if you catch my drift...and I think you do.)

$20 worth of paint, a new shower curtain from Bed Bath & Beyond and some old school Nebraska football posters courtesy of my friend Emma and we have ourselves a fun looking bathroom.

And listen, no one wants to gut that space and start over more than I do. But we have 2 1/2 bathrooms that all need updating and quite frankly, our guests are just going to have to wait!

Sure, it’s not perfect but it’s sort of fun and I'm no longer completely embarrassed to have anyone use it. Definitely not final but it’s good enough for government work!

Serenity now!

2009-05-26T22:19:00.001-05:00

One of the things we're quickly learning is that home improvement can get out of hand REALLY quickly. Right now for example we've got big messy projects going on in the kitchen, mudroom, guest room, master bathroom, living and dining rooms. Basically the house looks like it was chosen by North Korea as a nuke testing facility. And the nukes won.

To maintain a bit of sanity (and oh how quickly sanity packs its bags and heads for the nearest Hampton Inn where it's safe and clean and they have free breakfast that isn't coated with a fine layer of joint compound) we decided to make the master bedroom a priority. At least there we can close the door and pretend it's safe to walk barefoot around our house. (it's not, by the way)

Here's the before:

And here's what it looked like the first night we spent in it:

Nothing says romance like his and hers air mattresses, yes?

And this is what it looks like now:

It's not quite finished but at least it's comfortable and liveable.

And I don't even have to wear a respirator or safety goggles while I sleep. Bonus!

Weird stuff...

2009-05-26T22:09:00.000-05:00

One of the best parts of moving into an old home is finding crap that previous owners left behind. For example, we found the home's original blue prints tucked away in a kitchen cabinet. Good stuff!

And on a slightly different note, we also found a ziplock bag of what we later learned was oregano, a riding crop behind the refrigerator and this sticker on the shelf of an old cabinet in the garage:

In case you can't make it out it says "sexuality." They had a shelf for sexuality and a riding crop behind the fridge.

Um...yeah.

Wallpaper, you are no match for me...

2009-05-26T21:48:00.000-05:00

Dear Wallpaper,
You had me on the ropes but you couldn't defeat me.

Oh sure, I cursed your creator while I picked, covered in glue and shreds of green toile paper, at the wall behind the refrigerator.

But still, you did not defeat me.

I have taken down every last piece of you in this house.

Wallpaper, for lack of better words, you are my bitch.

Love,
Mr. P

Hey! Bunnies!

2009-05-26T21:20:00.000-05:00

Mr. P was mowing the lawn (yay! grass!) and stumbled upon a hidden rabbit hole. Five adorable baby bunnies sprang out and ran across the yard. This one, less camera shy than his brothers stopped for a picture:

The bunnies are adorable, yes. And yes, I chased them around the yard trying to make one my pet. ("I will love and hug him and I will name him George.") But alas, I didn't catch one. Which is probably a good thing since all our neighbors looked horrified and informed me that bunnies (actually I believe the term they used was horrible long-eared rats) eat all your flowers and vegetables and dig holes under your fence. My guess is that they're in cahoots with the neighborhood dogs and helping them escape captivity.

And since we just planted a lovely little tomato, peppers and blueberry garden I suppose I should be a bit more concerned. But quite frankly, that's why the Good Lord invented supermarkets (the one here is called Hy-Vee which makes me giggle when I say it 'cause it sounds so...I don't know...cute and giggly?). So let the bunnies have my tomatoes...there's plenty more where that came from!

Our house is a very very very fine house…

2009-05-26T21:01:00.000-05:00

We did it! We’re home owners! In Nebraska!

Oh my god I live in Nebraska. It feels weird to say it (or type it) out loud. WE OWN REAL ESTATE IN NEBRASKA...and it's GLORIOUS!

Looking for a house to buy is a lot of fun – you get to snoop in people’s closets and make fun of people's tacky design sense, guess how many dogs they own, etc. But once you find a house you love, well that’s when the fun really starts. Between the offers and counteroffers, inspections, haggling over who is going to pick up the tab for the new roof/missing smoke detectors/toxic radon gas seeping from the basement (not kidding…if I start growing a third eye or chest hair, I’m suing) it’s an emotional roller coaster that I’m not looking forward to repeating any time soon.

But it really is so worth it! (though I'm sure we'll miss lugging heavy laundry baskets down to the dark and dingy communal washers in our seedy West Hollywood apartment building...or not.)

Thankfully we had the world’s best realtor. If you ever find yourself looking for homes in Omaha (and never say never…I didn’t think I would be either) call Angie Podoll at CBS Home. (http://angiepodoll.cbshome.com/) She steered us through all the potential pitfalls and really went to bat for us several times. And she also put up with our incessant whining, 10 phone calls a day and dumb questions about water pressure and carpet. (I would’ve smacked us)

BUT WE LOVE OUR HOUSE! It’s a 1950s ranch style house with three bedrooms, 2.5 baths. It needs work…and we'll document all the ups and downs, highs and lows and near-death experiences here.

Stayed tuned and wish us luck!

Parting is such sweet sorrow...sort of.

2009-04-16T18:36:00.000-05:00

Posted by: Mrs. P

“OMG we’re really moving to Nebraska.” Words I never thought I’d hear myself utter. And yet it’s true. We’re moving to Omaha. Omaha, Nebraska. The Big O. Husker Town.

My friends were shocked. See, I was born and raised in Miami and have lived in Manhattan and Los Angeles. So you can see why some of my friends were concerned Omaha would be a bit of a culture shock for me. Then again these are the same friends who think Omaha is one big cow pasture with nothing but overalls and Applebee's restaurants as far as the eye can see.

Au contrer, my friends. Omaha is a happening place! It has amazing restaurants, a great music scene, and ultra cool people who are actually NICE and SAY HELLO when they pass you on the street and don’t YELL AT YOU when you’re trying to make a left turn on a busy street but no one is letting you through and you hate L.A. and all this stupid traffic and you just wish it would die and…!!!!

Um, sorry about that. A little remnant road rage. Two and a half years in LA will do that to a girl. Where were we? Oh yes. Still have doubts? Well let me put it this way. Omaha has been ranked:

- Among the “Top 20 Best Places to Raise a Family” by the TODAY show (and let it be known that I believe anything Matt Lauer tells me.)
- Third among Kiplingers “Top 10 Best Cities in 2008”
- Third among Salary.com’s “Best Cities To Build Personal Wealth”
- And 8th on the CNNMoney.com’s list of “Best Places to Live for Affordable Housing”

So suck on that, naysayers!

Oh, and did I mention that Warren Buffet, one of the richest men in the world lives in Omaha? Well he does. And a man worth more than the GDP of most small countries wouldn’t live in some prairie dump, now would he? No. I think not.

Omaha is also home to musician Conor Oberst. Don’t know who he is? Click here to find out. Doesn’t he just OOZE cool? Other Omaha natives (I’m still not sure what they’re called…Omahans? Omahanis? Yomahas?) include dancer/actor Fred Astaire, Wade Boggs (really famous baseball player…or so says Wikipedia), Marlon Brando (if you don’t know Marlon Brando please stop reading this blog and go rent On The Waterfront, The Godfather and Apocalypse Now), President Gerald Ford, actor Henry Fonda, Playboy’s Miss December 1982 and Miss July 1993 (are their names really important?), actor and crackpot Nick Nolte, Alexander Payne (the screenwriter/director behind About Schmidt and Sideways), the dudes from 311, and tennis star (and all around dreamboat) Andy Roddick.

And now it’s home to me and the hubby. And we’re thankful that the city has welcomed us with open arms and lovely weather.

Ah…home sweet homaha. (thanks, John Forrest!)

Denise